The three decisions that control your destiny are:
1. Your decisions about what to focus on.
2. Your decisions about what things mean to you.
3. Your decisions about what to do to create the results you desire.
The key is that when you do run aground, instead of beating yourself up for being such a “failure,” remember that there are no failures in life. There are only results. If you didn’t get the results you wanted, learn from this experience so that you have references about how to make better decisions in the futur
Quality questions create a quality life.
you’ve decided upon the new pattern of emotion or behavior that you desire; you’ve gotten leverage on yourself to change it; you’ve interrupted the old pattern; you’ve found a new alternative; and you’ve conditioned it until it’s consistent
Remember, each time you create a strong emotional feeling, either positive or negative, you’re creating a connection in your nervous system
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1. What is great about this problem?
2. What is not perfect yet?
3. What am I willing to do to make it the way I want it?
4. What am I willing to no longer do in order to make it the way I want it?
5. How can I enjoy the process while I do what is necessary to make it the way I want it?
Remember, quality questions create a quality life.
1. What am I happy about in my life now?
What about that makes me happy? How does that make me feel?
2. What am I excited about In my life now?
What about that makes me excited? How does that make me feel?
3. What am I proud about in my life now?
What about that makes me proud? How does that make me feel?
4. What am I grateful about In my life now?
What about that makes me grateful? How does that make me feel?
5. What am I enjoying most in my life right now?
What about that do I enjoy? How does that make me feel?
6. What am I committed to in my life right now?
What about that makes me committed? How does that make me feel?
7. Who do I love? Who loves me?
What about that makes me loving? How does that make me feel?
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“What I truly am is a success coach.
I help to coach people on how to achieve what they really want more quickly and more easily.”
Be careful not to carry the metaphors that are appropriate in one context, like the environment in which you work, into an incompatible context, like how you relate to your family or friends.
I’d like to introduce you to a fellow named Walt. Walt is a good, decent human being who always tries to do the right thing. He has his life down to a science:
everything in its proper place and in the correct order. Weekdays he arises at exactly 6:30, showers and shaves, gulps down some coffee, grabs his lunch pail filled with the requisite bologna sandwich and Twinkles, and runs out the door by 7:10 to spend forty-five minutes in traffic. He arrives at his desk by 8:00, where he sits down to do the same job he’s been doing for the past twenty years.
At 5:00 he goes home, pops the top on a “cold one,” and grabs the TV remote-control. An hour later his wife comes home and they decide whether to eat leftovers or throw a pizza in the microwave. After dinner he watches the news while his wife bathes their kid and puts him to bed. By no later than 9:30 he’s in the sack. He devotes his weekends to yard work, car maintenance, and sleeping in. Walt and his new wife have been married for three years, and while he wouldn’t exactly describe their relationship as “inflamed with passion,” it’s comfortable—even though lately it seems to be repeating a lot of the same patterns of his first marriage.
that “your past does not equal your future”!
What is the message of these Action Signals?
They’re telling you that what you’re currently doing is not working, that the reason you have pain is either the way you’re perceiving things or the procedures you’re using: specifically, the way you’re communicating your needs and desires to people, or the actions you’re taking.
1) Realize that you may have misinterpreted the situation completely, that your anger about this person breaking your rules may be based on the fact that they don’t know what’s most important to you (even though you believe they should).
or example, if you’re angry, change your perception—maybe this person really didn’t know your rules. Or change your procedure—maybe you didn’t effectively communicate your real needs. Or change your behavior—tell people up front, for example, “Hey, this is private. Please promise me you won’t share this with anybody; it’s really important to me.” For many people, consistent anger, or the failure to be able to meet their own standards and rules, leads to …
A Course in Miracles: all communication is either a loving response or a cry for help. If someone comes to you in a state of hurt or anger, and you consistently respond to them with love and warmth, eventually their state will change and their intensity will melt away.
s long as we structure our lives in a way where our happiness is dependent upon something we cannot control, then we will experience pain.
We need to remember that our imagination is ten times more potent than our willpower.
asset. There is no better investment that companies can make than in the education and development of their own people…
The best way to insure that you’ll be able to maintain your wealth is to have 10 percent taken out of your paycheck and invested before you even see it.
To maintain your wealth, you must take control of your spending. But don’t develop a budget; develop a spending plan. How’s that for Transformational Vocabulary? Truly, if a budget is done effectively, it is a spending plan. It’s a means for you—or if you’re married, you and your spouse—to decide what you want to spend money on in advance rather than get caught up in the momen